Aging

Successful Aging: Finding the right caregiver

A young hand holding an elderly pair of hands

Q: My parents are living with significant limitations from severe arthritis, macular degeneration, recent surgeries, plus the beginning of cognitive problems. My brother and I live out of town and have been alternating weekdays and weekends tending to their needs and managing their full-time care providers — some of whom are not great. Despite our well-intentioned advice for them to move, they won’t even consider it. There is an assisted-living facility near where my brother and I live. The stress, wear and tear on us is huge. Add to this the financial drain. We need help. — A.A.

A: You do have a problem, and are not alone. Here are a few facts from the Family Caregiver Alliance:

• 43.5 million adult family caregivers care for someone 50 years old or older.

• The average age of a caregiver is 48 years, with 43 percent living alone.

• 10 million caregivers over 50 who care for their parents lose an estimated $3 billion in lost wages, pensions, retirement funds and benefits.

• Absenteeism caused by caregiving responsibilities cost the U.S. economy an estimated $25.2 billion in lost productivity.

• Eleven to 17 percent of caregivers (depending on what you read) have reported their health has gotten worse as a result of providing care.

Although you and your brother are not full-time on-site caregivers, the long-term physical and emotional stress you may be experiencing are risk factors to your well-being.

Here’s a recommended partial solution: Hire a professional geriatric care manager. This person typically comes from various fields of human services such as social work, psychology, nursing and gerontology. The individual is trained to assess, plan, coordinate, monitor and provide services to older family members and their families.

How do you know if you need a care manager? If you and your brother are overwhelmed, it might be time. Other reasons: A family member has multiple medical and psychological issues and is unable to live safely in the current environment. Add to this list: caregiver burnout, needed resources, inadequate current care and responsible family member(s) living out of town.

Assuming you decide a care manager is needed, the next step is the interview. Here are some questions recommended by the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers:

• What services do you provide, or what services does your agency provide?

• If you are with an agency, how many geriatric care managers are in your agency/business?

• We would like an initial consultation, is there a fee and, if so, how much?

• Are you licensed in your profession? If so, describe your professional credentials.

• Are you a member of the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers?

• How long have you been providing care-management services?

• If an emergency occurs, are you available?

• Do you or your company also provide individuals who will come into the home on a regular basis and provide hands-on care?

• In what way(s) do you communicate information with the family, caregivers and the care receiver?

• Is there a live person with whom I can speak? Is he or she available on Sundays and after business hours?

• What are your fees? (This is important before any services are rendered.)

• Can you provide a few references?

Be sure you like the person you are hiring; chemistry is important.

Once you’ve made the decision to hire, request the engagement in writing. The document should include services the care manager will perform and the fees. Know how fees are computed, how travel time and mileage are handled and how services are terminated if needed.

To find a professional certified geriatric care manager, go to www.caremanager.org and enter a zip code. Certification means the geriatric care manager has met certain standards of education, has had supervised experience and adheres to a code of ethics.

For those not yet facing issues of elder care, you might consider slipping this column into a folder for future use, for good reason.

Former first lady Rosalynn Carter said it well: “There are only four kinds of people in the world: Those who have been caregivers, those who currently are caregivers, those who will be caregivers and those who will need caregivers.”

Thank you, A.A., for your important question. My best wishes to you and your brother in finding the best care manager and subsequent care for your parents.

Source:  Press Telegram

Alzheimer’s Hits Women Hardest

Angie and John

Women are carrying the bigger burden of Alzheimer’s disease in the U.S., according to a new report — making up not only most of the cases, but paying more of the cost of caring for the growing population of people with the mind-destroying illness.

The new report from the Alzheimer’s Association paints Alzheimer’s as a disease that disproportionately affects women, both as patients and as caregivers. It points out that women in their 60s are about twice as likely to develop Alzheimer’s over the rest of their lives as they are to develop breast cancer.

“So women are at the epicenter of Alzheimer’s disease today, not only by being most likely to be diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, but also by being the caregiver most of the time,” said Maria Carrillo, vice president of the advocacy group.

Alzheimer’s affects more than 5 million Americans, a number projected to soar to 13 million over the next 35 years. A study published earlier this year suggested it’s a big killer, taking down more than 500,000 Americans every year.

Angie Carrillo and John Wallace didn’t expect that he’d develop early onset Alzheimer’s

Three out of five of those living with Alzheimer’s are women, the report finds. “The surprising statistic we pulled out of this report actually is that women over 65 have a one in six chance of developing Alzheimer’s disease, in comparison to one out of 11 in men,” Carrillo said. And that compares to a one in eight lifetime risk for developing breast cancer.

“John and I had a whole plan. And all of a sudden, that was not going to happen.”

Even if they escape the disease themselves, women often are burdened in another way, by having to care for afflicted loved ones. There are more than twice as many women as men taking care of someone with Alzheimer’s all day, every day, the report finds.

One of them is Angie Carrillo of San Jose, Calif. Carrillo — no relation to Maria Carrillo — was stunned when her then-61-year-old husband, John Wallace, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2008. Things went downhill quickly and Wallace, an accountant, lost his job.

“John and I had a whole plan. And all of a sudden, that was not going to happen,” Carrillo, now 61 herself, told NBC News.

“He had long-term disability, but in order to qualify for that, you had to be disabled for 90 days. So for 90 days, we didn’t have his income, and not that we were living large, but we were spending our paycheck.”

They had to dip into retirement savings.

“It was a scramble to keep my job, go to all of these doctor’s appointments to verify that John indeed was disabled,” Carrillo added.

It’s a pattern the Alzheimer’s Association sees across the country.

The report finds that 20 percent of women cut their working hours from full-time to part-time while caring for someone with Alzheimer’s, while just 3 percent of men did. Federal survey data show that 65 percent of caregivers for patients with dementia are women.

The group analyzed data from federal health surveys, the Census Bureau, National Alliance for Caregiving, AARP and its own poll of 3,000 people to show that 18 percent of women have taken a leave of absence to care for someone with Alzheimer’s, and 11 percent of men have. Eleven percent of women say they have quit their jobs, while 5 percent of men have. Ten percent of women say they’ve lost job benefits because of time taken to care for an Alzheimer’s patient.

“It was a scramble to keep my job.”

And at the same time, they’ve often lost income from a disabled spouse.

“We’re still dipping into our retirement funds,” Carrillo said. “Someone told me, ‘You need to go talk to a good CPA’ and I said, ‘I have a good CPA. Unfortunately, he has dementia’,” Carrillo said.

The disease also hits family life, including grandchildren. “We were the family hub,” Carrillo remembers. “All of the birthdays happened here, all of the holidays … we had six grandchildren sleeping in the den.”

Like millions of U.S. women, Angie Carrillo struggles to care for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease: her husband, John Wallace.

Dementia changed that. “It went from a really happy place to a place that’s not so happy. Papa all of a sudden wasn’t able to drive a car and take them to the skate park … or to go play miniature golf with them … so our life became smaller and smaller,” she said.

This can leave women feeling alone, the report finds. “The higher care giving burden placed on women has many consequences, including higher emotional and physical stress, strained family relationships and lost employment opportunities,” it concludes.

Carrillo eventually had to put Wallace into a full-time care facility. He would wander and get lost and couldn’t be left alone for a moment.

“The memory care facility he’s in now is $5,000 a month,” Carrillo said Carrillo, who blogs about her situation.

“I don’t quite know where I’m going to get that money,” she added. “So I’m in the process right now of creating a rental space in my home.”

Medicaid will help, but only once Carrillo is broke. And that often happens, the report finds.

“Given the high average costs of these services (adult day services, $72 per day; assisted living, $43,756 per year; and nursing home care, $83,230 to $92,977 per year), individuals often deplete their income and assets and eventually qualify for Medicaid,” the report reads. “Medicaid is the only public program that covers the long nursing home stays that most people with dementia require in the late stages of their illnesses.”

The Alzheimer’s Association says the total national cost of caring for people with Alzheimer’s and other dementias is projected to reach $214 billion this year. The report calculates that unpaid caregiving by family and friends would add up to another $220 billion.

“In 2014, the cost to Medicare and Medicaid of caring for those with Alzheimer’s and other dementias will reach a combined $150 billion with Medicare spending nearly $1 in every $5 on people with Alzheimer’s or another dementia,” the association says.

Right now, there are no good treatments for Alzheimer’s and certainly nothing even close to a cure. The biggest advance lately is a blood test that appears to show who’s likely to develop symptoms — but researchers say all that really does is provide a way for people to prepare for the inevitable, and perhaps for their doctors to try treating them earlier to see if current less-than-useful medications might do better in someone who hasn’t begun to show memory loss yet.

“Despite being the nation’s biggest health threat, Alzheimer’s disease is still largely misunderstood. Everyone with a brain — male or female, family history or not — is at risk for Alzheimer’s,” said Angela Geiger, chief strategy officer of the Alzheimer’s Association.

Although millions of Americans are in the same situation as Carrillo, “It’s a lonely journey,” she said.

Source:  NBC News First published March 18th 2014, 9:01 pm

‘a lifetime of happiness is awaiting you…’

Lara and Erin with Grandmother

I’m going to be honest. There was a time in my life where I wasn’t so happy. I was satisfied, because I really did have everything I needed, but I wasn’t happy. And I’m not sure if there was even a life-shattering event that took place which made me become a truly happy person. But I do know this — I am the happiest now I have ever been.

For the past five years, I have seemed to build an empire of happiness around me. I have surrounded myself with happy people, which means selectively choosing my friends and acquaintances. I don’t allow negativity into my space — whether that is my mental space, my physical space or my emotional space. I have learned how to be so in tune with myself that when something is making me unhappy, I take time to reflect on it, meditate and explore the circumstances surrounding the emotion, instead of pushing it aside and burying it. And above all, I have learned to be present and find joy in the smallest aspects of life, from a cicada that made a racket outside my window this week to the elderly man I say hello to while walking past his Brooklyn stoop each morning. (He doesn’t ever respond, but I know he hears me, as he gives me the slightest head nod.)

When I sat down to write this article though, I became stuck in the writing journey because I had never thought about how I had built this empire of happiness. So, I laced up my running shoes and went for a run, because running is what gets me unstuck when I have a writing project that just doesn’t seem to be flowing.

I took off around the block and headed toward my neighborhood park. I decided in mid-stride that I would take some time to reflect on this topic underneath my favorite tree in Brooklyn. It is an oak tree which is about 80 years old, with a thick curved branch perfect for sitting on or hanging from. And when I arrived at the tree for my mid-run stretch, I said aloud, “How do you build an empire of happiness?”

Read more‘a lifetime of happiness is awaiting you…’

The Powerful Benefits of Family Support

Family with grandfather

“The family is one of nature’s masterpieces.”-George Santayana, philosopher, poet, novelist

An Inspiring New Beginning

A couple of months ago, Little Lotus and I moved to live near members of our family. Upon moving closer to my aunt, uncle, and a bunch of cousins, I immediately began to understand the support system I’d been missing. I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to be surrounded by family who see my potential, encourage me to take time for myself, and who I trust to take excellent care of my daughter. The support of my family inspires me to do my best, and I’m excited that my daughter will reap the benefits of family support as she grows.

The Benefits of Family Support

The well known African proverb, “It takes a whole village to raise a child,” resonates with so many people for good reason. The support of a loving family and community is essential, and it offers several vital benefits like:

  • Enhanced self-esteem and identity.
  • Members see the importance of their role in the group or the bigger picture.
  • Shared legacy and culture.
  • A sense of belonging, acceptance, and connectedness.
  • Shared caretaking responsibilities of children and elders.
  • Greater financial security through shared resources.

Remembering Where I Come From

In the short time I’ve lived near my family, I’ve been reminded of the strong line of people I come from and recognized my place in a long line of feisty, capable, big-hearted women. I’ve had a blast getting together with my cousins and their children (my little cousins) for play dates and parties, and I’ve loved being able to have a moment to myself knowing that my daughter is in good hands. I have always strived, but now I feel even more supported to spread my wings.

“Family traditions counter alienation and confusion. They help us define who we are; they provide something steady, reliable and safe in a confusing world.”-Susan Lieberman, author New Traditions

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter” Mark Twain

Elderly Couple Laughing

Laughter can be a powerful anti-aging weapon. And the most wonderful thing about it, is that it it’s free and available to everyone.

There is nothing in life that can keep you young at heart like a good laugh. Whether laughing over a shared memory with a close friend, watching a movie, reading a book, or forcing a laugh to ward off a bad mood, a good laugh can boost your attitude and leave you in a happier state of mind.

Laughter promotes relaxation, it relievers stress and releases tension from the neck and shoulders, and it promotes the release of endorphins, the ‘feel-good’ hormones.

“You don’t stop laughing because you’re old. You grow old because you stop laughing”

Read more“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter” Mark Twain